she's just saying...

Top Ten Tues. summer woes edition

Top ten things I am not enjoying about this summer:

1. the mosquitoes
2. little stinging wasps that ambush me
3. yellowjackets buzzing around my hummingbird feeders
4. mowing the lawn, over and over
5. packing Henry's camp lunch every day
6. removing sticky juniper sap from feet, floors, shoes and pets
7. having to work (versus last summer)
8. visitor traffic, especially when they can't figure out the roundabouts
9. the half-drunk glasses of lemonade that Henry leaves everywhere
10. that it's almost over.

dead deer dilemma

Well, Kathi D might have her dead squirrel problem, but here in the forests of Central Oregon, we have a dead deer problem. Or at least my friend Tina does.

Seems a deer wandering through her backyard just curled up and died under a tree. The family discovered it yesterday and is at a loss on how to dispose of it. Suggestions are flying on Facebook, including several who think it could be donated for venison (it's only been dead about 24 hours.) Times are tough here.

Here's Tina's cry for help:

FREE BEER !! Yes, that's right. Just come over and help us move a dead deer from our back yard into the truck. That's all. Because ain't no one in the city of Bend or ODFW going to do it for you. Deer in your yard? Well, it's your deer now. But both agencies I called sheepishly said: "Well, if it happens to find its way onto a public road, then ...." The problem is GETTING A DEAD F%#@ING DEER INTO A TRUCK. Ewww.

Now that's living in the wild.

Worst. Mosquito. Season. Ever.

I agree. Especially that last line.

Today's break for prayer

Via Ten Bears, a wonderful video of rabbis taking to the skies to ward off swine flu. 

what's it going to take

Hmmm. Y'all are very sparse on comments lately. (Except for the ever-faithful Kathi D. We bloggers have to stick together, ya'know.) What's up? Bored? Disenfranchised? Suddenly shy?

Maybe I need some more stimulating posts. How about a dead tortoise on an ant hill? That's the ticket!

What, you say you need grosser photos? Well, here you go:  

PS: to all of you lovely cooks who landed here looking for zucchini risotto recipes, I apologize. Quite a shock, I can imagine. Just avert your eyes and scroll down five or six posts. It's worth it, really.

Top Ten Tuesday: phrases III

Current catchphrases that annoy me:

1. It's all good.
2. Not so much.
3. It is what it is.
4. For reals.
5. Good times.
6. No worries.
7. Chillaxin'
8. Cool beans!
9. My bad.
10. Woot!

And all that inane Life is Good crap stuff...

 

What are yours?

G.I. Joe = Female Empowerment?

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was at the second showing of the GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra opening yesterday.

I'm not going to spoil it for all of you who are lining up to see it today, but I can say that it was exactly what you might expect, including loud. However, there were some sociological aspects to it that were noteworthy, including how the fightin' women were portrayed.

Aside from the skin-tight leather lycra combat outfits (I was distracted by worrying about their pores clogging), the women were tough and mean. Of note was the girl-fight where they really wailed on each other, and how the redhead beat the black guy at target practice.  [ed. note: yes, it would have been much more enlightened if the women refused to fight at all and instead negotiated their way out of the crisis, but then we wouldn't have much of a movie, would we?]

I was gratified by the ex-supermodel-turned-world-dominatrix who wore GLASSES throughout the movie. That might have been a first. I think she even kept them on for the kissing part, though possibly not. One style was the heavy black "I'm not just beautiful, I'm a nerdy intellectual" type, and one pair were disconcertingly like Sarah Palin's rimless ones, but she rocked them all. 

I'm clearly going to have to get a new superhero spectacle wardrobe. 

Another sub-theme that was notable for being so off-hand was the interracial flirting between the previously-mentioned redhead and black guy, complete with a kiss. It was a nice break from the usual colorline pairing. (Though there were no black women in the movie at all -- a bit of an oversight.)

Though I doubt many girls are going to see this movie, I like the fact that all those impressionable pre-teen (and older) boys are getting exposed to these new paradigms. Except for the skin-tight part, but it is Hollywood, after all.

 

The glasses. You're supposed to notice the glasses.

Friday frylet: catguin

Disclaimer: not my photo or caption.

Re-branding

This blog will henceforth be named:

"Zucchini Risotto:  a chicken sweater blog"

I won't even need to post any content.

Eating for Dummies

Are there truly people out there who need these instructions? I really hate to think so.

  

Ya' know, I thought that tortilla tasted like a paper towel...

Zucchini risotto, a la Susan

 

 

I've made this a lot, as you can see

Note: This subject is now in the running with fowlwear as the highest searched phrase that leads innocents to my blog. So I'm republishing this with my sister's notes. Enjoy!

Henry will eat an entire pan of this, and that's at least a couple zucchini right there. Save this for when we actually have the warmth to grow something in Central Oregon and it turns out to be zucchini.

My sister Susan won a cooking contest with this recipe many years ago, and it is truly a winner. However, two of my sister's four major food groups are cream and butter (merlot and chocolate being the other two), so I've lightened and simplified her recipe. This is easily a work-night dinner, providing you have risotto rice and zucchini. Or a great side to anything. And it lasts and heats up great for leftovers.

Zucchini Risotto

Buy the real Arborio rice - even Safeway carries it now. And for the love of god, don't use Kraft parmesan. Though I know you don't, do you?

2 T butter (down from my sister's 6 T - if you want to go there, be my guest)
1 C Arborio rice
4+ cups chicken stock (free-range organic, of course)
1 egg yolk (I use the whole egg, actually)
1/4 cup half-&-half or milk (Susan's original calls for heavy cream - right!)
1 T olive oil - but who measures?
3 small zucchini, sliced thin or grated if easier
1/4 cup parmesan or more
2 lg garlic cloves (admission: I use jarred chopped garlic - nothing would get cooked here if I didn't)
1 bunch scallions or chopped onions or shallots - whichever
salt/pepper
1/2 c chopped ITALIAN parsley - don't ever use the frilly garnish kind - no flavor
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/3 cup or so of white wine - whatever you're drinking at the moment

So, if you've never made risotto before, it's way easier than its reputation.First, melt 2 T of the butter and the olive oil, add the onion and saute slowly.

(Mmmm, the smell of frying onions - guaranteed to make men go wild, if you're looking for that sort of thing.)

Once they're soft, throw in the garlic (so it doesn't burn), then all the rice, with a little more oil. I know, seems weird with no liquid, but that's risotto. Stir fry the rice for a few minutes, then add about a cup of broth. Traditionally, it should be hot, which you can do in a glass pyrex cup measure in the microwave. But you don't have to.

The key to risotto is to keep adding the broth as the rice sucks it up - it should never be dry or conversely, drowned. You do have to stir regularly, though not continuously as the books would say.

Now, my sister sautes the zucchini with garlic in a separate pan, but I don't because I'm all about one-pot meals. The cheater way is to add the zuke when the rice is almost done, along with the cream, egg and parmesan, lemon, wine, salt/pepper and parsley. I throw it all in together and it comes out fine.

You'll need to correct the rice with broth or hot water if it isn't done enough or is too dry. Cook til it's done. This is where my sister adds the additional 4 tablespoons of butter. Because it's not rich enough.

I'm realizing it's really hard to write recipes down when you cook intuitively. If you'd like a step-by-step explanation of risotto, you'll need to use a cookbook.

Notes from my sister:

"Oh, for heaven's sake-- one-quarter cup of heavy cream in a recipe with a quart of chicken stock isn't going to kill you. I won the cooking contest many years ago, when risotto was wildly ambitious. The reason you should saute the zucchini beforehand is that it holds its shape better. If you just add it raw (wrong! wrong!) it turns to mush and becomes one with the rice. There. The genie has spoken."

Beestung

Clearly, the universe did not want me to go up to Portland.

First I developed a sinus staph infection (a mere 3" away from my eye as the nurse said), then Henry woke up with pinkeye (can't operate with conjunctivitis in the house), and then, just now, I was stung by bees, one spot of which is a half inch from the operation eye, which has reddened and swollen up prettily.

OK, I get it! Bad idea sliding down into the Neighbor X tarpit! But don't you think the bee was a little overkill?? Sheesh.

(For those who didn't know, I was going to stay at his place in Portland (conveniently 5 blocks from the hospital); I stayed there for the pre-op appointment, we're communicating again and...)

Thank the gods, the goddess, Shiva, the heavens, my angels, a Bodhisattva, the universal spirit, whatever. I got the message. Really. I did cancel the flight, even after a (lukewarm) invitation to come up anyway.

When we're weak, the universe supports us and shows us the way. We just have to listen.

 But really, there's no need to send bees.

Awww-gust

I've never really liked August. It's too damn hot, summer is as tired as three-day-old macaroni salad, and all those things you planned hopefully to accomplish aren't done and are mocking you.

My August was supposed to start with invasive eye surgery - fun! However, due to a lurking sinus infection, it's been indefinitely postponed, complete with last minute phone calls, faxes to doctors' offices, canceling airline tickets and general frustration. Not to mention the accompanying sinus infection. Meanwhile, Henry woke up with pinkeye, or eyes. So we're in an upbeat mood this lovely August first.

It's going to be another scorcher here in the (high) desert, so we have to batten down the hatches to keep the house cool. So we begin the slow sticky slide into the school year.

Don't say school!! Henry begs. He has five more weeks of various camps left, so school feels like it's years away. Labor Day being late this year has caused parents to scramble to fill one more week. I've been handing Henry off to whoever drives up, to go to the Fair, the lakes, baseball games and campouts. All things I usually enjoy but don't feel the urge to do right now. Meanwhile, all the Facebook families of the town are having wonderful laugh-filled, joyous, adventuresome summers (and even have time to post their photos and updates).

Hmmm. Mood getting ugly. I think H and I are going to hit the movies and stay out of the heat.

Baby Porky Video

Mom doesn't seem very maternal, but she's just a teenager herself.

It's a little (prickly) baby!

High Desert Museum welcomes baby porcupine

Posted by Terry Richard, The Oregonian July 30, 2009 12:38PM

How do you know whether a porcupine is pregnant?

Wait for her to give birth.

The baby porcupine born at the High Desert Museum south of Bend came as a surprise today because the parent porcupines didn't seem as if they liked each other.

The father porcupine, Thistle, came to the museum when he was less than a year old, in 2004. The museum introduced the mother, Honeysuckle, to him in January.

To the surprise of museum staff, a baby was born this morning, July 30. Museum staff discovered the softball-sized porcupine walking around its outdoor habitat at about 7 a.m., still wet after being born just a few hours prior.

Both parent porcupines came from wildlife rehabilitation facilities. Like all of the wild animals at the museum, the porcupines cannot survive in the wild due to their life history.

The birth of the baby porcupine is evidence that these animals are thriving at their outdoor habitat at the Donald M. Kerr Birds of Prey Center, open to visitors daily, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Female porcupines bear one young after a pregnancy of seven months. Newborns typically weigh 12 to 20 ounces and have all of their quills _30,000 of them _ and four teeth.

When the museum's new porcupine is bigger, it will be sent to a wildlife facility where it will be used for education programs for school children.

In the wild, porcupines leave their mothers when they about 2 months old.

The High Desert Museum is a five-minute drive south of Bend on U.S. 97; 541-382-4754, www.highdesertmuseum.org.

-- Terry Richard; [email protected]

Q: How do porcupines mate?

A: Very carefully.

Cool and fresh and salmony

I made a fantastic pasta salad last night, and if I can keep typing in this offensive heat, I'll post the recipe.

I'm not normally a pasta salad fan. They're either too bland, too oily, too weird or too crunchy (I don't like raw broccoli or any kind of bell peppers, which show up in most of them.) They used to be really popular - I recall one memorable patio party with the girls where everybody brought pasta salad. Luckily I was serving margaritas, so it really didn't matter. I don't know if they still are the go-to potluck dish, as I don't go out anymore. And if I do, it's not to a potluck.

So anyway, the one I made last night was stunning, especially as I concocted it with Ingredients On Hand. Here's my ingredient list. I don't have any quantities as it depends on your particular I.O.H.

1. Curly pasta - I like gemelli, but whatever you have O.H.
2. Strips of gravlax or smoked salmon (I just happened to have some leftover gravlax in the fridge. Odd, really.)
3. Cucumbers, diced
4. The itty-bitty fresh mozzarella balls you can buy at Costco, or other fresh mozz, diced.
5. Scallions, sliced, with some of the green part
6. Parsley (pretty much the only thing I grew in the garden this year. You could use dill.)
7. Olive oil
8. Lemon juice
9. Salt and pepper

Whisk the last three ingredients into a vinaigrette, then toss it all up, gently.

I ran out of capers (I know! A kitchen disaster!) which would have added a bit more piquancy, but maybe they would have been overkill.

Anyway, yum.

Yes, I do knit -- why do you ask?

I think this blog was supposed to mention knitting from time to time. It is even listed in knitting blog rings, something that must frustrate devoted knitting-blog readers (there's a lot of them).

As mentioned previously, once summer comes, knitting tends to drop off around here. Knitting magazines attempt to entice us with "summer styles" which tend to be a bit weird IMHO. Knitting just doesn't fit into a summer scene - who wants a hank of wool on their lap at the beach? Too sandy.
(I'm sure I'll get comments by dedicated summer knitters who disagree with me on this, which is fine 'cause I'll take all the comments I can attract.)

But I still knit a bit these days. Mostly cotton and silk, simple stitches on small projects. This scarf fits the bill.

 Montego Bay scarf

This is as close as I'll get to lace knitting, which is incredibly frustrating and tedious for me.

My friends turn out exquisite lace shawls and sweaters and socks knitted with toothpick needles and thread-like yarn, but I'll stick with the humble worsted-weight and my size 7's.

                                                               

Cindy's shawl

Friday Frylet, sponsored by Snap, Crackle and Pop

You're kidding me, right?

Takes me back to the bad ol' days working on the Hostess Bakery advertising account, when we came up with the brilliant phrase: "One Quarter Cup of Milk in Every Donut!" as the "reason-why," as they say in the ad biz.

I don't know about immunity, but they do make great little glue globs that are impossible to remove from bowls, spoons and sinks. A new use, perhaps?

Top 10 Tues: summer supper edition

I really don't like heat. That's one of the reasons I moved to Oregon. I now realize that when I heard the term "high desert" I should have focused on the possible implications of the "desert" part.

Anyway, here in Bend we're having a heat wave (in my opinion) hitting over 90 on some days. Of course, it drops into the 40's at night, but I do have to go through that four hour stretch from work to darkness, and I don't like it. I know, the sound of a hundred tiny searing hot violins from friends in AZ, CA and TX. Well, why do you live there? It's stinking hot, for gawd's sake!

Sorry. Flareups from my inner hormonal furnace aren't helping. But that's another post.

So, what we eat in the summer. Recipes upon request. This list does not include the standard chicken/fish/shrimp on the grill that we have regularly. This is when I'm cool enough to cook and have the urge.

1. ratatouille with couscous
2. fish tacos
3. french potato salad
4. linguine alla vongole (clams to you)
5. greek salad - hold the bell peppers
6. gazpacho with shrimp: ditto
7. killer shrimp (stolen from the LA diner of the same name)
8. salad nicoise
9. the humble fresh tomato parsley parmesan omelet
10. grilled eggplant with soy sauce

I just realized that I've been making these same dishes for years. We don't eat beef, pork or lamb so it can be a challenge to come up with new menus. What do you cook when it's hot?

Compost diving

Note to self:

When dumping a vase of faded flowers into the compost, check if there might be hundreds of little glass balls in the bottom of the vase first. 'Cause they don't decompose.

On the plus side, I can personally attest that my compost bin is alive with bugs, flies, smells and rot. However, I can't seem to find the half-pound of worms I dumped in there last year. I assume they're happily munching away somewhere, extruding compost gold.