Knitaholics Anon: meeting transcript*

Shot glasses from ravelry

"Hello, my name is Melissa and I'm a knitaholic." (pause for greetings)

"I learned to knit while watching my mother, aunts and grandmother. It was a family habit - I never questioned it. I knit in moderation throughout my teens and 20's, then was dry for a number of years. Watching my sister knit a scarf with the new eyelash yarn in 2004 was what got me started again. That yarn was so different, so enticing - I thought I'd just make a few scarves for fun. I had no idea where that would eventually lead.

"I was managing a scarf now and then, but slowly, inevitably, other projects started creeping in. My first bender was with a poncho out of turquoise cotton chenille. Just a gift for a niece - I could handle it. Then I found this lovely coral cotton - it had such a silky sheen, I was hooked. Another poncho followed. Gradually my stash grew - skein by skein. Just one here and there, no major single purchase. Still, I was balancing my knitting with the rest of my life, and never touched the needles all summer (I'll talk about my gardening addiction at another meeting). Then, I took a sock class. Socks! Completely innocent and practical! I felt virtuous working on them, then giving them away. I learned a few more techniques, including using two circular needles at once. That led to regular needle buying and hoarding Addi Turbos by the pair.

"I started a knitting group to enable my habit. It's a loose-knit gang, and together we share binge after binge. I even found myself going to a weekend knitting seminar, surrounded by knitters, talking about knitting and indulging in the practice day and night, even during meals. I reveled in it all. Then I found the secret internet knitting sites. Knitting blogs, knitting webrings, free patterns, all the enticements of yarn right there in my home office. You all know what came next: Ravelry.com. I surf for patterns late at night when everyone is asleep. Downloading instructions, joining kinky yarn groups, chatting on forums, sharing tips. I'm close to hitting bottom.

"Now, I live the unraveled life of a knitting addict. I crave the needles night and day. I sneak my habit at work, at football practice, even in darkened movie theaters. And what do I have to show for it? Fingerless mitts! Boleros! Felted entrelac! Nothing I can actually use!! What's it all been for?

"I keep telling myself I can get over it, once I finish this last 'work in progress.' But of course, now Christmas knitting has taken ahold, so the next two months are already down the tubes. And I catch myself already planning my January binge: a Shetland tweed cabled jacket just for myself. With a zipper. My garden is dead, my child has nappy hair, my dog needs a bath. Still I keep knitting.

"OK, thanks for listening. I feel better now. There's just this little ball of Noro I need to take care of ..."

*With apologies to those struggling with more destructive habits. A suggestion: take up knitting - it keeps your hands busy, takes all your money and leaves you no time for anything else.